jokes

I don't believe anything I see on TV. There was that herbal shampoo commercial where the ladies were in the shower using the shampoo, and they're having orgasms. I went to Costco and bought the family pack of that. I was in the shower all weekend. The shampoo does not cause orgasms -- the bottle does.

Obamarama: A Barrage Of Obama Jokes

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
~Conan O'Brien

America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
~Jay Leno

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
~Jay Leno

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree... and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
~Jay Leno (we love Jay)

Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
~Jimmy Kimmel

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America!
~Jimmy Fallon

After a quick meet-and-greet with King Abdullah, Obama was off to Israel, where he made a quick stop at the manger in Bethlehem where he was born. ~Jon Stewart

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners.
~David Letterman

Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.
~David Letterman (Dave's not bad either)

Police in Texas arrested a man who was using the alias 'Barack Obama' while trying to steal money from 35 ATMs. They could tell something was up when a guy named Barack Obama was trying to take money from banks instead of giving it to them. ~Jimmy Fallon

You know, it's hard to believe President Obama has now been in office for a year. Isn't that amazing? It's a year. And you know, it's incredible. He took something that was in terrible, terrible shape, and he brought it back from the brink of disaster: The Republican party. ~Jay Leno

President Obama should get a big refund this year because he has a lot of dependents. AIG, Citibank, Morgan Stanley - all dependents. ~Jay Leno

That's all we've got folks. Feel free to add your own in the comments.

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